I should've known at the senior prom

Okay, so maybe I should've known my life wouldn't  go according to plan when my prom date left with another guy.
I should start at the beginning. I will use initials for all the characters, who are real people. A few weeks before the prom, my loser boyfriend broke up with me.
I called every single male I knew to go with me. No luck. Let me mention at this time one of my best friends was a guy, T, who I was in denial about, but was gay.  Now my best girlfriend, R, had a boyfriend who lived in Oklahoma and couldn't come, so T was to be her prom date. My mother girlfriend, D, had a boyfriend who was 28 and , technically, married. So she couldn't tell her family about him, and pretended T was to be her date. (All the moms loved him).
Well, T tells me to invite S - an old boyfriend of mine who I broke up with after he gave my father the finger. I wasn't allowed to hang out with him. So, I pretend T is my date.
T picks up R, presents her a corsage, and poses for pictures. T picks up D, does the picture thing, and drops D at the garage where her date awaits (he owned the garage). Now R and T come get me, pretending we are picking up R's date on the way; pictures, blah, blah.
We pick up S on the way.
About an hour into the prom, R and I notice our "dates" are gone. I have forgotten to mention that one of the reasons I broke with S was he thought he was attracted to men (I had something important on my 17 year old mind, like my hair or something).
After some asking, it was determined the boys had gone out to "get a beer". Uh huh. R then asked me what kind of losers go to the prom with guys who would rather be with each other. I told her exactly what kind of losers, and she was speaking to one, and she was the other.