I'm so happy to help you!

Why do some people think they are entitled to everything? If a doctor has about 600 patients, why should the lowly office manager remember the details of 600 insurance plans? You have ONE insurance - if you can't keep track of it, how the hell do you think I can?
And leaving a voice mail, with no phone number, and identifying yourself as "Mary". Oh gee, that narrows it way down! And make sure you speak so slowly through the message, with every boring fact that has nothing to do with the call; then, when you are going to leave your call back number, babble it so fast that I have to replay the message from hell three times to get your number!
Then, call at 9 and ask a standard, non-urgent, question. Then, call back at 9:10 to see what the Dr. said. The doctor said nothing!!The doctor is seeing patients and doesn't need to be alerted to your call. Everyone is so me-me-me.
And I'm not talking about sick people. Really sick people will get the attention they deserve; they also are the ones who are "sorry to bother you, but since my arm is falling off, can I come in next week sometime?" Whereas the grown men who wake up with a runny nose need to be seen ASAP!! "How long has your throat been sore?"  "Since I woke up!!" Have a lozenge and drink some tea.
Do not describe your bowel movements to the receptionist when you call. Especially since you think it's connected to your runny nose. It isn't.
And when you are 40 years old, do NOT have your mommy make your appointment. I then ask "How old is little Johnny?" and the mother says "40, but he's young for his age". Make that stupid for any age.
And please don't ask me why the law can't change so that we keep only YOUR chart way longer than seven years. It is seven years since we last had contact  with you. So if you call in 2002, then call back in 2011, don't act like we have lost the secrets to the universe.
And, one more thing. Don't call me to ask if your prescription is ready. Do we look like a pharmacy? Do we sell candy and cigarettes? How about you call the pharmacy? They should know if they have filled your prescription.
Okay, time to smile and deal with it all!